Bludgeoning, Kidnapping, and Overall inconvience
by Aster Sapphire
Summary: This is a simple one-shot. Takes, place in the 2k3 series and is a re-write of the night when the guys met April with a lots and lots of twist. Come on in and check it out.


**(A/N): Hey, I got bored so here's a one-shot! I was trying up with ideas for my other stories but nothing came to mind, this did for some reason, but I don't know why, so if you like it, tell me in a review!**

**Disclaimer: You know the story, not mine.**

The four of them stood there staring down at the unconscious young woman. She was wearing a stained white lab coat with a name tag that read O'NEIL in all capital letters. She had on a short black pencil skirt, a matching blazer, a green undershirt and no shoes. Her red hair had fallen from her bun and stopped just below her chest, and was damp from the sewer water.

None of them knew what to do. After five minutes of standing there clueless about what to do one of them finally snapped. "This all yer fault Mikey! If you didn't let her see you none of this would've happened!" Raph yelled.

"All my fault? All my fault! _I'm _not the one who went batshit crazy hit and her in the head with a Bo Staff!" Mikey said glaring at his brother.

"She saw us and I _panicked_, okay? And she wouldn't have saw us, if you would've just stayed in the shadows instead of _purposely _lean _into_ the light and saying 'How ya doin', I wouldn't have had to!" Don said defensively.

"Oh so you panicked huh? That didn't mean you had to knock her unconscious! You could've killed her for all we know!" Mikey shot back.

"Mikey, she works for Baxter Stockman! If I didn't knock her out then she would've went and told him everything she saw! Baxter Stockman is a scientist and you know why scientist can't know about us!"

"Both of you shut up!" Said one wearing blue, as he massaged his temples. "You're giving me a headache!"

"Can't be any worse than the one she has, Leo." Said Raph.

"You shut up too!" Leo growled. "I'm trying, to come up with a plan, and I could use some help!" His brothers stopped arguing to help him come up with an idea. "I got it!" Raph said after a few minutes of pondering. The others faces lit up with joy and relief. "Good, what do you have in mind?" Leo asked.

"Okay, here's the plan; first we're gonna need some rope, a few cinderblocks, a really big trash bag and a lake." Raph said seriously. Leo, Mikey, and Don stood there waiting for Raph to announce he was joking but he never did. "A-Are you _insane_!" Leo yelled.

"What? Mikey said she's probably, dead. So all_ we_ gotta do, is get _rid _of her, and live the rest our lives like this never happened." Raph said.

Leo glared at him for a moment before finally yelling, "Raphael Hamato we are _not _dumping this woman at the bottom of a lake!" Leo growled.

"Why not?" Raph whined.

"Well for one, that's _illegal_, two, we don't even know if she's dead, and three, IT'S ILLEGAL!" Leo yelled.

"Okay, well let's find out." Mikey said taking Don's Bo Staff. He slowly moved the Bo Staff closer to the woman before gently poking her in the leg. Nothing happened. He poked her a few more time until she moaned a little and blinked a few times before finally opening her green eyes. "What…where…where am I?" She said groggily her eyes locked on the four giant mutant turtles who were staring back her. "Wh-wh-what are you?!" She exclaims as she begins to scoot away,

Leo, Don, and Raph froze. Mikey on the other hand screamed before delivering another blow to woman causing her to fall down unconscious yet again before she was able to make since of anything.

"MIKEY!" His brothers yelled in unison.

"What? I panicked!"

"She's _gotta _be dead now! I'll go get the rope."

"WE ARE NOT! DUMPING HER! AT THE BOTTOM! OF A LAKE!" Leo yelled.

"Well then what do we do, Fearless? Keep hitting her every time she wakes up until she's dead?" Raph challenged.

"Well… we _could _bring her back to the lair with us." Mikey offered.

"We can't bring her back to lair; Master Splinter will kill us if we bring a human home." Raph said.

"And besides, wouldn't that be…kidnapping? It's bad enough we practically bludgeoned her, now we're gonna kidnap her?" Don said in a small voice.

"Which may I remind you; is also _illegal_." Leo added.

"Well, we can't just leave her here, what if more mousers come back for her?" Mikey said.

"For once, Mikey's right. We really don't have much of a choice here." Raph said.

Everyone looked to Leo who finally sighed. "Fine, we'll bring her back with us. But Mikey has to carry her."

"Why me?" Mikey whined.

"Because this is all yer fault, shell for brains." Raph scolded.

"I was only trying to be friendly!" Mikey said. He bent down and picked the woman up then tossed her over his shoulder like a bag of flower. He caught up to his brothers who were already out of sight. "Wait for me!" He said as he ran behind them.

"How do we get ourselves into this stuff?" Leo muttered to no one in particular.

"That's an easy one, we allow Mikey to leave to leave the lair." Raph says back with a snicker.

"Hey!" Mikey says suddenly appearing of them, the woman still hanging unconscious over her shoulder. He turned around and continued to talk. "I'll have you know there have been plenty of times when I came in handy!" As he spoke he didn't notice the woman beginning to wake up.

"Mikey…" Leo warned.

"Remember that time I found all of our sports gear in the junkyard." He continued, ignoring his brother's cautious tone.

"Mikey you should really-

"It's rude to interrupt Don! And then there was the time I found that DVD collection of Saw, just lying on the side of the road in perfect shape."

"Listen you idiot the lady's-

"Wait until I'm finished Raph! And _then _there was that time I-

"MIKEY!"

"What!" Mikey spun around just as woman was pushing herself up and she hit her head nearby pole, once again falling unconscious.

"Oops." He said.

Leo stormed over to his brother and slapped him in the back of head, before checking the woman's pulse in her neck.

"Well she isn't dead," Leo said, he shot Mikey a dirty look. "yet." He finished. He took the woman away from Mikey and carried her the rest of the way to lair, bridal style. When they finally got to the hidden door that led to the lair, Mikey made sure the coast was clear. He confirmed that Master Splinter was meditating in the dojo, before they hurried into Leo's room and closed the door behind them. Mikey pulled the covers back before Leo gently set her down in his bed, and then tucked the covers under her chin. Don left the room and came back with an ice pack.

"She's pretty hot." Mikey said as Don placed the ice pack on her head.

"_Pretty _hot? She's _very _hot. No wonder Stockman is so damn smart. If I had a lab assistant like that I'd _never _leave my lab." Raph said.

Leo rolled his eyes and moaned. "You guys are sick, you know that?" Leo said as he sat down in a chair close to the bed. "So what do we do now?" Leo asked.

"I don't about you guys, but I'm gonna go watch TV." Raph said as he wondered off.

"Same here." Mikey said following him out.

"I'll be in my lab if you need me." Don said.

"We're just gonna leave her in here? What if she wakes up" Leo said.

"Leo, she was hit in the head three times, she won't be waking up anytime soon, and even if she does, she'll just pass back out again a few minutes later. That'll give us plenty time to come up with a plan." Don said.

"And do we do if Master Splinter finds her?" Leo asked.

"He's still meditating, and Master Splinter will meditate for hours on end if no one disturbs him." Don says.

Leo cast a glance at the woman before finally sighing and standing up to leave the room and joining his brothers in the living area to watch TV. They all turn the TV on to an episode of Cops. They had been watching it for 15 minutes when they hear the screen door to the dojo open and Master Splinter emerges humming an old Japanese song. They all exchange nervous glances as he comes over to the living area and sits down lotus style in his recliner.

"Good evening, my sons."

"Good evening, Sensei." They say in unison as they stand to bow. As they sit back down they notice Master Splinter staring blankly ahead of him.

"What's wrong Sensei?" Leo asked.

"Oh, nothing Leonardo just thinking."

"Thinking, bout what?' Mikey asks.

"Nothing much. What is going to be on television tonight, what we do our next lesson, why there is an unconscious woman in Leonardo's bed."

"Oh...crap"

"We are so dead."

"Don knocked her out first! I was trying to be friendly!"

"Master Splinter, please allow to me explain our actions." Leo says.

"Go on Leonardo. I must hear this." Master Splinter said.

"Thank you Sensei." Leo clears his throat before speaking. "I had nothing to do with this! We were out wandering the sewers trying to catch the mouser that got away but when we found it it led us to more mousers so we had to take them out and then we heard screaming so we followed the sound and a pretty lady was getting attacked by mousers so we saved her but we stuck to the shadows though we really did but then Mikey revealed himself and said "How ya doin" so Don freaked out when she saw us and hit her with his Bo Staff and knocked her out so I freaked out I was like I oh my God what if we killed her so we tried to come up with ideas but the only one who came with one was Raph and he wanted to put her in a trash bag, tie some cinderblocks to her and then throw her at the bottom of a lake but I said we can't do that and he asked why and I said BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL so we decided to check to see if she was really dead or not so Mikey poked her with Don's Bo Staff and she woke up so Mikey freaked out and knocked her out AGAIN and we finally decided to just bring her back here even though that's kidnapping but we didn't have any other choice besides to keep hitting her every time she woke up until she died and we couldn't do that so we went ahead and kidnapped her and bought her back here where we hid her in my bedroom until you somehow found her and I'm so sorry we disobeyed you PLEASE DON'T DISOWN ME DISOWN THEM NOT ME THEM CAUSE IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!" Leo began taking deep breaths as he recovered from his rant. He looked around to find everyone staring at him like he head two heads. "Oh and by the way she works for Baxter Stockman." He added still taking breaths.

Master Splinter simply sat in his chair with his eyes squeezed shut as massaged his temples. "I need to go meditate some more." He said as stood up and left the room, making his way back the dojo, all the while wondering why he still bothers to confront his sons over things they have done wrong. He decides that the next time he finds something out of the ordinary, that it would make his life easier, if he just didn't know the whole story.

**FIN.**

**(A/N): Hope you enjoyed that! If you did REVIEW ABOUT IT! **


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